Why am I so scared all the time?

Halloween. Where everyone dresses up as someone they’re not. Why do we do this? It’s fun to be different for a change.

Freakin change.

Why?

…

I miss those days when I got so excited to dress up. I always put so much thought into what I was gong be and I was so happy to go trick or treating with my dad and brothers. And eating all my candy and feeling so sick to my stomach.

I miss being little.

Life is scaring me. I’m only 17 yet I feel like I’ve been under so much pressure for so long and one day soon all my feelings are just going to explode. I’m scared. I’m scared to grow up. I’m scared of losing…

I’m a pretty positive person. But when it comes to liiiike, life, I’m pretty pessimistic. I don’t know why.

Halloween is a fantastic holiday. 

One Word

USA. Dragons. Joker. Cookies.  End.  Good. Inspire

Unbelievable. Happiness. You. How? Believe. Enchanted. 

Beautiful. #SWAG. Coffee. Ours. Falling. Hitting. Screaming.

 Silently. Simple. Incredibly. Irrevocably. Undying. Long. Forever.

Sorry. Wait. Say. Stay. May. Way. Hey. Hay. Late. Apologize. Mine. 

 Shot. Chance. Heart. Beat. Fire. Nothing. Changing. Lifing. Me. Here.

 How? Big bird. What? Orange. Stripes. Infinity. Math. Sucks. Ew. Hate.

 Passion. Stupid. Mistake. Why? School. Clear. Crystal. Sparkling. Gorgeous.

Understanding. Crooked. Evil. Scary. Scars. Denial. Regret. Depressed. Individuality.

Low. Proposal. Perfect. Luckily. Me. Unforgivable. Realization. Harmful. Unforgettable. 

Sleep. Sand. Childhood. Movies. Powerpuff girls. Cartoons. Ice cream. Sleepovers.. Pokemon. Fighting. Walking. Climbing. Running. Riding. Bad. Alright. Hard. Anything. Everything. Changed…

Free Post

School sucks.

End of term sucks.

I'm stressed.

I hate being stressed.

Being stressed makes me in a bad mood.

I hate being in a bad mood.

It sucks.

End of term sucks.

School sucks.

Sorry.

Live. That's an Order

“Rock out like… dancing is all you have to know who you are.”                           -Anis Mojgani

That quote doesn’t really relate to this post but I just really love it so I had to add it in.

You’ve been a direct order to do what you want.

Whatever you want.

Anything…

At all.

Mindset:  no one is watching you. No one is judging you. 

Live.

Life is too short to hesitate.

Live.

Like good ole’ Tim McGraw says, Live Like You Were Dying. 

...Yup. Do just that.

The Frayyy

So I'm just really obsessed with The Fray and I just found this cover of Kanye West's Heartless and I'm so in love with it.

In the night I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever toldSomewhere far along this road he lost his soulTo a woman so heartlessHow could you be so heartless?How could you be so heartless?
How could you be so cold?As the winter wind when it breeze yoJust remember that you talkin' to me thoughYou need to watch the way you talkin' to me though
I mean after all the things that we've been throughI mean after all the things we got intoHey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told meHey yo, I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna get me back and you gon' show meSo you walk around like you don't know meYou got a new friend, well I got homiesBut in the end it's still so lonely
How could be so Dr. Evil?You're bringin' out a side of me that I don't knowI decided we wasn't goin' speak soWhy we up 3 a.m. on the phone?
Why does she be so mad at me for?Homie, I don't know, she's hot and coldI won't stop, won't mess my groove up'Cause I already know how this thing go
You run and tell your friends that you're leavin' meThey say that they don't see what you see in meYou wait a couple months then you gon' seeYou'll never find nobody better than me
Talkin', talkin', talkin' talkBaby let's just knock it offThey don't know what we been throughThey don't know 'bout me and you
So I got somethin' new to seeAnd you just gon' keep hatin' meAnd we just gon' be enemies
I know you can't believeI could just leave it wrongAnd you can't make it rightI'm gon' take off tonightInto the night
In the night I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever toldSomewhere far along this road he lost his soulTo a woman so heartlessHow could you be so heartless?How could you be so heartless?

Duct Tape

Duct tape cannot fix a lot of things. The things that truly matter in life...

It can't fix America.

It can't fix the World Trade Centers.

Duct tape can't fix war.

It can't fix child abuse.

It can't fix a broken marriage.

Duct tape can't fix brain damage. 

It can't fix the National Debt.

It can't fix stop kidnapping. 

Duct tape can't fix mistakes.

It can't fix my own mistakes.

It can't fix life.

Duct tape can't fix my life.

It can't fix my mind.

It can't fix a broken heart.

Duct tape can't fix love.

Duct tape cannot fix the past.

Why?

Why?

Why?
Why are we created just to die?
Why are our loved ones so cruelly taken away from us?
Why?
Why are we put through the heartache?
Supposedly we are strong enough to get through anything that is brought up before us.
Why, then, is it so hard at times?
If we are so capable of getting through trials, if we are never put through anything we can't handle...
How do so many of us resort to suicide?
Whatever it is we are going through, we have been told that we are able to handle it.

We've been told there is nothing given to us we can't handle.

Why do we give up?

Please don't give up. . .

Please.

I want a sweatshirt.

I want a sweatshirt.

Life. 

I just want need everything to stop changing.

Life is moving too fast for me. I can't handle it.

I just wish I could go back to when I was little. When I didn't have a single care in the world. Everything was fun and happy.

But now, so much has changed.

Life is much harder now.

And it just keeps getting harder and harder.

Let's waste time. Chasing cars... I need your grace. To remind me to find my own.

I desperately need everything to stop moving. Or at least just pause. Within the next year, so much is going to change. Everything is going to be so different. I fear I am going to lose so many of my closest friends.

I sort of regret getting close to people. No matter what, everyone is going to leave me sometime, sooner or later. It is just going to cause me pain. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't have gotten so emotionally attached to others, and gotten so close to my friends. Cause in the end, I'm going to end up heartbroken. But I know in some cases it will all be worth it. A good learning experience. I just hope I can handle...everything..or anything at all.

....Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I feel so lucky to have found that person.

That person makes everything okay. I feel so much better when I am with said person. I can't explain it very well. I feel so much happier. Stress-free. I feel like a little kid again.

I wouldn't change a thing.